Oh, ho, god. I think I'm getting a coooooold. Four nights in a teepee? Not the best plan when your immune system has the approximate strength of a stoned kitten. FRANK WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON BE MY MISTRESS. UM. I MEAN THE OTHER WAY AROUND. SHIT MY HEAD IS MADE OF COTTON. :(

Hey, does anyone else get shmoopy and woobie-y when they're sick? I totes cried when a dog died in Little House on the Prairie once, and I don't even think it was supposed to be the sad part. There was a dude that was terminally ill or blind or something, idk, I guess that mighta been the sad part. WHATEVER. Anyways, I was gonna do a festival picspam and talk about Lyn-z's incredible hotness, but somehow I wrote a post about my relationship issues that detailed the impact of my parents' divorce on my psyche? I DON'T EVEN KNOW, OKAY. I MADE MYSELF CRY, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I will spare you guys that post, because homg tl;dr and also AWKWARD.

Ummm...I had lots of things to do today, but moastly I've been sitting around watching my eyesight cross and uncross. I'M SORRY YOU GUYS, REALLY!

Also, rewatching Gilmore Girls? Made me want to cry, except Helena is badass and never ever cries, like, ever, except if there's onions involved, and even then it's more of a glazed glare, so I didn't cry when Emily Gilmore served pudding. But it was close. Shut up, your face et cetera.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudesssss!!! READING FUCKING FESTIVAL, OH MY FUCKING GOD. It was. I mean. Let me put it this way: DUDES IN TUTU'S! 83905654688456 AMAZING BANDS! SHIRTLESS DUDES! DUDES IN DRESSES! DUDE WITH "DUDE" TATTOOED ON HIS NECK! DUDE IN BAND DRESSED ONLY IN TUTU AND UNDERWEAR! GERARD WAY'S WIIIIIIIIFEEEEEE!

Oh god. I haven't showered in four days, someone threw beer at my head, my feet are falling off and I WANNA GO BACK. I have a million photos to upload, mostly blurryass Lyn-z pics and a few DUDES IN FUCKING TUTUS. Apparently it's a trend among the shitfaced? >:))))))))

Um. Probably I should go take a shower before my smell becomes corporeal and eats my face? I will spam all of your asses with a more thorough recap when my socks aren't trying to take over the world.

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEA!!!

ILU LEA!!!! ASK ME FOR THINGS!

In conclusion: ...shower.

LEAVING FOR READING FESTIVAL IN FIVE FOUR THREE THREE AND A HALF...UM. BE GOOD WHILE I'M GONE! FLIST: DON'T POST ANYTHING INTERESTING AT ALL, BANDOM BANDS: PLS DON'T RELEASE AN ALBUM IN MY ABSENCE, AND UH. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GREEN SOCKS. *freaks out*

Ahahahahahahahahahhahahaha why the fuck am I going to a festival. I hate camping with all my soul, and my mother laughed at me when I told her I'd gotten extra super warm pajamas of warmness because "You're supposed to sleep in your jeans! What are you, eighty?" >:((((( MY OWN MOTHER THINKS I'M LAME, SO IT MUST BE TRUE.

SEE YOU ON MONDAY!

Ugh, do I need to buy an air mattress?

Owowow, 900 words left, for real this time. Sometimes I round the numbers down to make myself happy, but then I realize I'm a fucking moron, because if I do it that way it'll seem like nothing happens when I type and WHAT THE SHIT AM I STILL DOING ON THE INTERNETS. It's 2.32AM and I cannot eat another oreo because i'll puke, but mentally I WANT GIMME GIMME GIMME.

I AM TOO TIRED FOR COHERENCY AND ENTHUSIASTIC PUNCTUATION.

I realize this post will make very little sense to people currently not residing on top of my nose. SRY PPL.

*spam spam procrastination spam*

Hay dudes! strobelighted wanted Gerard as a victorian lady! ( Uh. I kinda went overboard with this one? :D? )

Dudes, I need serious serious help! Tomorrow is my last day of having a Bekah, and then I have to give her back! So obviously I will need some sort of grand gesture, something amazingly amazing to do tomorrow so that she will not be able to leave because of this magical amazing day, y'know? So far, I got nothin'. :( Also I should point out that we're all pretty much broke. We've been shopping, we've seen a Tutankhamun exhibition, and we've seen THE DARK KNIGHT OMGZ. And now we're outta ideas. So. TELL US YOUR IDEAS?

MY BEKAH HAS BEEN DELAYED >:(

OH GREAT, NOW THEY SHIPPED HER TO INDIANA. WHYYYYYY. THIS MAIL ORDER BRIDE BUSINESS IS HARD, YO.

So! Um, like. Why did no one tell me I like The Hush Sound? Wait, strike that. I know why! You were all concerned that my tiny fangirl heart couldn't take all the precious, amazing, slightly morbid fantasticness of the Hushies, right? WELL THANKS FOR NOTHIN', SUCKERS. *hart explodes into sparkly confetti* Man, I totally don't even have any objections to having another band to objectify, WHAT THE SHIT. That's like, Mikeyway levels of apathy right there. QUICK SOMEONE CHECK MY PULSE. Ohgod ohgod ohgod why do I want a Tiny Swedish Immigrants in America AU WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAT. Last time I checked, that was one of my least favorite periods in history, coupled with my least favorite country and SHUTUP IT WOULD BE ADORABLE WHYYYY.

( Oh blah blah blah Greta with a shotgun, blah! )

Completely unrelated to that story, here, have a Greta! ( GRETA GRETA GRETA WHY IS YOUR NAME THAT OF A SWEDISH GRANMA AND WHY IS IT MAKING MY HART SMIIIIILE )

In other news, I HAVE TO CLEAN EVERYTHING EVER AND HIDE ALL THE...EVERYTHING I OWN, SHITSHIT. My roomie Helena's brother is sending us an underwear model! I MEAN. Ummm. So. Like. IEDK, YOU GUYS. Helena's brother's gym buddy's iPhone broke? And apparently he can't fix it in Sweden? Or send it anywhere to get it fixed? So he's going to London because there's an Apple store here? And Helena's brother was like "OH HAI I KNOW! YOU SHOULD GO LIVE WITH MY SISTER :D :D :D" and the underwear model was like "YES AND I WILL BRING MY BROTHER, AND WE WILL ACCIDENTALLY STAY 4 DAYS, WHOOPS :D" and I was like "OHGOD OHGOD OHGOOOOD /o\" and apparently he isn't even an underwear model, Helena's brother just thinks he looks like one and apparently Helena's brother is not gay and I AM SO CONFUSED. /o\ This better not be like that time my sister's friend's sister was moving to London and crashed here and sprayed BOTH Paris Hilton and Britney Spears perfume all over our apartment, I repeat BOTH PARIS HILTON AND BRITNEY SPEARS PERFUME. Oh my god. Did I mention they're gonna be here tomorrow?

Ugh, you guys. I think I'm about to get my 3584092404630468963th cold. I've got that weird sensation in my body, like there's tired little ants running around inside my skeleton. Sleepy antlegs usually mean I'm getting a cold. Also my brain feels like meatballs. My immune system is the most ridiculous thing ever and also I suspect that it is fangirling Frank Iero's immune system, which is NOT ON.

...OH MAN. IS THAT SPROINKING SOUND MY NEIGHBOURS' BED. THAT'S. OHGOD. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Anyways! Where were we. I HAVE TO MOVE. Jesus.

Also number 4 IS ASHLEE SIMPSON, FLIST! I forgot to give all the answers, ooops. I was gonna put their non-cropped pics up, all fancy-like and stuff, but as it turns out I am lazy and completely fucking useless after a day's actual work. Huh.

I had this entire post all thought out about things and stuff, stuff that wasn't OW MY UTERUS or DO NOT WANT WORK, but then there was OW. I have to go to bed in an hour because I gotta get up at 6 AM. I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT EFFORTS, AND HOW MUCH I DISLIKE THEM.

Also, now, because I'm bored, I have decided that we are going to play a little game that I just thought of called Give Me Lip Or I'll Shank You, or: Do Y'all Spend Just As Much Time As I Do Staring At People's Lips And Memorizing Every Curve And Mark?

It goes like this: I show you guys a buncha pictures of a buncha lips, and then you comment and tell me who those lips are attached to. Also I don't shank you. ( Easy, right? )

'Lips like morphine' is like the stupidest line ever. Wouldn't the morphine make the lips all numb and anesthetized and shit? WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT, SERIOUSLY. If you want cold dead fish lips, get a blowup doll, or daterape someone, you creep. I hate Kill Hannah because they are OUT TO GET ME. THEIR BAND NAME STATES IT VERY CLEARLY. Also the singer lisps really stupidly. Plus that stupid fucking song always get stuck in my head.

Hay, so. I bought a teepee today? AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA WHAT. I am so not cut out for festivaling, it's not even funny.

You guys! I workded today! It was okay. It wasn't horrible, but still, efforts were involved. Yo, so, how dangerous is sandwich-making, right! I sliced off the top of my finger and put it on a beef roll, holy Sweeny Todd-like shit! CANNIBALISM IS TOTALLY FASHIONABLE, OKAY, THEY EVEN MAKE MUSICALS ABOUT IT. Okay, so I'm exaggerating. It was just a little nick and I got a band-aid and tossed away the bloody bread and everything. THAT'S PROFESSIONALISM FOR YA. Anyways, have an Edgy Dyke!Gee! (or as my roomie Helena likes to call it, The Sad Battered Wife Gee)( HERE YOU GO! )

YOU GUYS. I WAS LISTENING TO THE PIANO SONG (SHUT UP IT'S A LONG TITLE OKAY) AND JUST. THAT'S LIKE. OKAY. HAIR. YOU KNOW. THAT MUSICAL. ABOUT ALL THE HIPPIES. AND SMOKING UP. AND MASTURBATION. AND FELLATIO. AND ALSO HORSES. BUT SERIOUSLY. THERE'S A SONG IN THAT FILM ABOUT HAIR, AND IT GOES A BIT LIKE THIS:

Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair.
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen.
Give me down to there hair, shoulder lenght or longer
Here baby, there, momma, ev'rywhere, daddy, daddy.

hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair. (moar here)

AND THIS IS HOW THE PIANO SONG STARTS (I SAID SHUTUP):

I won't cut my beard and I won't change my hair
It grows like fancy flowers but it grows nowhere
My hair, my hair

needs moar manip /o\

Uhm, sorry it took so long, I am a lamer! ( Presents for my birthday girls! )

Watching this at five AM just before going to bed is not the best idea I've ever had, because UNGH OH MY HAAAART. Mikey/tambourine equals OTP, you guys!

Also, also! You know how with some people, their hotness doesn't translate as well in pictures as it does in videos? Like, that's how it is for me with Lyn-z. I mean, not that she isn't hotass in pictures, but omg, I watched that interview where she's all Earnest Feminist of Adorable, and shit. I JUST WANT TO DIVE IN AND SNUGGLE HER NECK, OKAY, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK. I didn't have that uncontrollable urge to drown in her somewhat greasy touring hair before, but now? NNNNNNGHHHHHHHHHH YES PLS GIMME NAO.

Um, so anyway, BERT. What the fuck. He's gross and hairy and he's got a near unibrow (ACK INSANE SQUICK OF MINE) and and and. AND HE'S TINY AND HE SINGS AND HE'S SO GROSS I AM SO FUCKED BECAUSE LOOKIT HIM ALL TINY AND IN LOVE WITH GEE OH MY GOD THEIR SQUISHY LITTLE FACES AND THEIR QUEENY DUET OF LOVE AND THE APPROVAL OF MAMA WAY I CANNOT TAKE IT WHAT WHAT I GIVE UP I SHIP (FIRST SPELLED AS 'SHIT', LOL FREUDIAN SLIPPERYNESS) BERT/GERARD FUCK FUCK SHIT DAMN.

Man, this was not the plan. NOW I NEED A BERT/GERARD ICON AND MOAR BERT SINGING. ALSO A TRANQUILIZER. :D:

Dear Elena! On this day, exactly 18 years ago, your mother probably hated you a little because you were trying to dig a hole in her special lady place (unless you were born like an ancient emperor of Rome, in which case she was probably as doped up as a Panic member because someone stuck a scalpel in her stomach, so, my bad!), but then you came out and were like "OH HAI MOM I'M ADORABLE AND WILL SAVE THE WORLD WITH MY AWESOME" (slightly paraphrased) and all the animal kingdom bowed to your majestic amazingcakeness, and flowers bloomed, and little baby unicorns sprung from raindrops in the forest and fat scary criminals with ugly tattoos burst into tears and called their mothers and adopted kittens, and lo, the world was filled with beauty (and porn!). THAT'S IN THE BIBLE.

Uh, like. I got you a present! Other than that speech about your mother's vagina! But then I kinda didn't send it yet? So. ( ACCEPT THIS AS A SUBSTITUTE? )

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS. IT IS A MIRACLE. A PART TIME MIRACLE, BUT STILL. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I'm sure the joy will fade once I realize I have to actually do things now, instead of, um. Not. But still! No more stupid job hunting! THAT MAKES ME REALLY REALLY HAPPY.

Also, I mighta done a little jigg of joy when I realized I'll be ogling Gerard's wife at Reading in August! LYN-Z, WHY SO HAWT AND LOLDORABLY EARNEST. \o/